You Can't Win (Know Thyself) (2013-22-09)
OK well its been a while and for me clearly that means a lot has happen. Well first heres to my Virgos, our season is over but never forgotten "Know Kneel before Zod." Sorry about that! its kind of weird i couldn't write during our season or my birthday. But if you know me you know my stars weren't right, my karma felt off and my life was out of balance. I wasn't me. And its so crazy for me to write that cause i haven't felt 100% not me in literally 10 years to the moment which also freaked me out a bit. 10 years ago to date my family moved out of Detroit and my whole life Evolved, and ten years later i felt just as lost as i did walking across Murray Wrights stage to get that damn piece of paper earlier this month.
So why this title? Well if you know me or seen me i got my 13th tattoo and yes the 13th one and it was PERFECT timing. Because most see 13 as bad or Ominous but i see so much more the stars this virgo season was beautiful, its was a friday the 13th this Month, i got my 13th tattoo, it just happen to be "Know Thyself in Greek", i moved back to Las Vegas this month, and for the first time in almost 2 years i feel more like me then i ever have. It made me sit down and write the day after Virgo looked to Libra. Cray Cray Meow right?
So to the "YOU CANT WIN by KELLY CLARKSON" well thanks to my soulmate sister who got me this memory stick, and the first albums i put on it on it were albums we chatted about one night like 8 hours straight of music and talking about "Life is the Sum of Choices you Make". Which oddly enough was the tattoo i was suppose to get as my 13 but end up getting "Know Thy Self" which this song off her "Stronger" album is the other half of this title. if you haven't heard it here is some lyrics to get you on my page.
-If you go They say you're following, If you don't Then you're too good for them.
If you smile You must be ignorant, If you don't - what's your problem?If you`re down - so ungrateful
And if you're happy - why so selfish? And you can't win, no You can't win, no…
The one who doesn't quite fit in, Underdressed Under your skin, oh A walking disaster!!!
Everytime you try to fly you end up falling out of line Oh, you can't YOU CAN'T WIN no
If you're thin Poor little walking disease, If you're not They're all screaming obese.
If you're straight why aren't you married yet? If you're gay why aren't you waving a flag?
If it's wrong, you're nailing it If it's right, you always miss You can't win, no...
This is where i was, i felt like no matter what choice i made someone would be mad or disappointed. like no matter what i did i was screwed in someones eyes. And my friends were all like evolving in such beautiful,painful, amazing ways. And even though some were tough or absolutely beautiful i was happy to see my close friends make this leaps, But deep down i felt like i was stagnant, dark, judged and weak. and this song changed so much of that like I had to realize whats good for is not going to make everyone happy and i can parch about live your life to the fullest and I am just existing "What the Douce". So that had to change and the more i heard this song LIFE was clicking into a better place all around. It was the light I needed like, i can't win not matter what choice i make so fuck it I choose to be in a Perfectly Imperfect and Uniquely Perfect and if they don't get it then "Bye Bye". And i remembered seeing "ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΑΥΤΟΝ" when i was in both Germany and Greece. And that became my 13th tattoo for all the reasons i had been searching for the last 2+ years and i loved getting it. I could look in the mirror again and start to see Me and what I wanted and what was good for ME. and its funny because Me, Myself and I by Beyonce was another one of my first albums on the pre Vegas stick of Course ALL JANETS was 1st DUH.
I guess here is the meat of it to me, you can't live in fear of others. So many of us live with choices we wish we could redo or hell undo and none of us is perfect but on this little time we here lets try to be the best version of us possible without the glare of everyones opinion. Because to Know Thyself gives you more happiness then anything else. This song got me cause its like you can't be Single and happy or your career has to matter to someone besides you or where you live effects too many people. I got to a better state when i looked into who i was and where i was and what i was doing. I went to church twice and life was getting better and better, you have be be able to look in the mirror and Love the flaws because the "You" that you present to the world has to be the you everyone sees.
To close this, I am so proud of the evolution of my Family (Not all Blood), life is happening and i can't wait to see old friends, be close to new friends, have everlasting memories, keep the happiness going strong, and Know Thyself. Because losing in everyones eyes might mean you Finally Win!!!
*We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve* *Life is the Sum of Choices you Make* *I See You…* *Infinite Love Starts in the Heart* *Perfectly Imperfect* *Uniquely Perfect* *Know Thyself*"
<3 Ty L. Johnson
2013
