I Care (2012-25-12)

I Care “Clear throat”

          Yeah its early Christmas Day by the time I post this so Merry Christmas 2012 World. I have been on some songs for a bit and then they get mainstream and I lose my original passion for it but I don’t what it is about Beyoncé but she can keep a song Hot. For me “Irreplaceable” was the first then “Scared of Lonely”  “Best Thing I Never Had” “I Miss You” and now this one “I Care”.

          This song is the beez neez and yes I just typed beez neez (Too Much Pitch Perfect lately) any who back to the “I Care” movement I am digging the down beat, the drums, the roughness of the song the put her amazing voice with some sick lyrics, I am so hooked.

“I Care (Clears Throat) I know you don’t care too much but I still care.”

That sums it up the song is this line. Where are you in your world that this is ok and you feel like you in this alone for no good damn reason? It hurts my soul to know some amazing people in my life settle knowing the other doesn’t care or because its semi easy. I am not airing any of my friend’s dirty laundry I am thinking of my life experiences coupled with music and television shows.  Because I have seen me in this song living it word by word, and it is amazing now to hear it and go wow I have been there once or twice in my life and hearing this song made me look back and go “thank god you blew it thank god I dodged that bullet” another B Hit. Well she hits the nail on the coffin in the build up and damn there fell when I saw it on DVD live from Roseland.

“Baby if you cared enough I wouldn’t have to care so much, what happen to our trust now you just giving up, you used too be so in love now you don’t care no more.”

I mean honestly how do you follow those emotions, I know there was a point when I mattered to you why you giving up now? It’s crazy to think I was there in my life at one or two points and now I know so much more about me and the songs just gives me some awesome life memories. Sometimes you just gotta go dark and crawl in the mud a bit before you find that prospective you so desperately need to justify why the hell you stayed so long or dealt with so much. I think this songs speaks to a part of me that is no longer on the surface crying out but dealt with moved on from and just smiling that this song came too late and laughing about it as well. But wrapping this up so I can make Christmas breakfast and spend my first holiday with my family in 9 long years know when not to care or when to pull away and say thanks for the memories now I am moving forward…. Be Blessed & Enjoy the Holiday!! 1 More coming before 2013 comes upon us…

Live, Laugh Dance

-I See You…-

*Life is the Sum of Choices you Make”

Ty 2012 J

Empty Words (2012-07-12)

Empty Words

       I Love this song it’s on Christina Aguilera New Lotus album, which has some nice tracks on it. I must say it had a tossup between songs but it being a special month I will do all three I just don’t know in what order but I think I will do this one first.  Well I will say that I don’t emotionally relate to this song in real time I am in a great space right now and this song isn’t for a reason but in hearing it it does take me to a place of thought in my head and in my body I would love to see a lyrical piece to this song. Any who moving forward I will place in some lyrics to hear why my mind went to this song more than once or twice…

-The funny thing about hurt people, Is they tend to hurt people.
The funny thing about lies is, They're only lies.
The funny thing about hearts is, They tend to break easy.
The funny thing about healing is, Im alright-

I can live in these lyrics for a while the funny thing about hurt people is they tend to hurt people, omg how true is these statements you get to the core of a friend or lover who is hurting people or not doing right is cause somebody send them through mud so now they sending you. Lies are only lies so don’t let it rule your world, if someone is lying let it lay there its not you so don’t give life to it. I know my heart breaks easy its strong but its fragile and that’s ok but as I love I hurt it’s a gift and a curse. And as she so put the funny thing about healing is I’m Alright. Cause guess what people love me and I love me so where will my love go next time.

-So go ahead and say the things you got to say
You know you're only throwing empty words my way
So go ahead and say the things you got to say
You know you're only throwing empty words a Million Miles Away
Cause you won't break me you won't break me
You can't take me down-

          I thought of this last night on the patio you give people power this words they say you and how you let it hold your world in a state of discontent and slight misery. And in this chorus I get it and a part of me has always thought these are only words and mostly a million miles away. But then you think it’s the action behind those words that cut like a knife. But like I said I love this song to pieces but I am not here in my life but I still can get this song so much. People in this world need to love while its love still out there look at this world we are in now if your in pain grow past it or love someone, show and tell them or hurt move forward; live whatever is next is just that not happening NOW. Move past the hurt either make it work or move on, But Love without thought you can let someone hurt you and fall I love a week later with someone who may get it better. But realize when people try they cant break you, take you down, or mold you unless you give life to those Empty Words. Love the love in someone and the rest throw it out its only Empty Words.

Be Blessed this Holiday

*Life is the Sum of Choices you Make*

-I See You…-

Live, Love, Dance

Ty <3 ;-) 

Don't Ever Let It End (2012-11-23)

Don’t Ever let it End

          So this song is a Nickelback song off “Here & Now” the latest album they dropped and let me just say I love the band and I have all of the albums they have dropped and these men know heartbreak, heartache and Longing for love. In this song they sing about a friend close or recently close who they just enjoy talking to hanging with being around, and more or less completely loving being them around this woman who then becomes more.  It for me is a change in pace, I have read my last 3 years of posts and I see this pattern of sad break up songs or heartache/heartbreak songs. And I get it I love those songs and the lyrics behind them for so many reasons but I never had a reason to not write about them I love what that they were to me and how they made me feel. The meaning in the words for me was what I needed to hear to get through every relationship every break up and every moment between.

          This song is so different for me in the sense that I love this meaning in such a different way the lyrics they knew each other they know each other and the moment of maybe it’s only been 6 months or 16 years but he realizes it’s her the HER I read about dream about listen to songs about.  I listen to this song and I so get it the girl you knew then when you were different or the girl you met when you were with someone else and just didn’t see then what you see now. It is beautiful because either you saw this girl grow into the woman you dreamed about and you just never saw it or you met this woman who was your everything in the best ways possible but you were too blind by the distraction you were chasing after or the Dysfunctional relationshit to see it.  I will give you just the barest of lyrics and then let you get what you want from it.

-We can laugh as we both pretend that we're not in love and that we're just 
Good friends.
Well I'm tired of pretending, but I'm terrified of it ending I know if not for you there's nothing I could do to ever let it end And I know you feel the same way, cause you told me drunk on your birthday 
And as you pulled to me whispered in my ear "don't ever let it end" -

                I love it so much it is innocent and yet so honest and beautiful. You forget about the little things or the moments you come to the realization the woman you have always wanted is there but neither one wants to admit it. Maybe you haven’t seen each other in a while and just the conversation alone makes it worth the risk, or maybe you are around each other all the time and has just been overlooked.  For me I just love what the song means in my world in that Life happens and “Life is the Sum of Choice you Make” and you make a choice to stay in a bad relationship or a choice to move forward and move on and in doing that you see the doors that are open now and the doors that you see differently. As they said “ Don’t Ever Let it End “ if for some reason you connect with someone  or around someone  that makes you feel differently about everything don’t ever let it end because when you find yourself smiling about the little things like texts or stupid banter you share or inside jokes that just makes sense in your head then don’t Lose that.

“Life is the Sum of Choices you Make”

-I See You…

Live as though tomorrow isn't coming

<3 Ty 2012

Catch my Breath (2012-11-17)

Catch My Breath

       Don’t worry I will wait. So I heard this song so right before Halloween and then I watched the video recently and I get the lyrics on a personal level and, for me what’s this songs place is in my life right now?

-Addicted to the love I found. Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud, making time for the ones that count. I'll spend the rest of my time Laughing hard with the windows down Leaving footprints all over town Keeping faith kind of comes around I will spent the rest of my life… Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of this show. Now that you know, this is my life; I won't be told what's supposed to be right-

I totally would rewrite this versus into the chorus so differently NOW. And yet leave so much the same cause when you look at the grand motion picture we all call life it is the Sum of the Choices we have made. And in saying that here is where I am…

“Addicted to the Love I found, were a very Heavy Heart and now an Amazing weightless cloud. Making time now for the ones that count. I’ll spend the rest of my time laughing hard with the windows down leaving footprints all over town. I will spend the rest of my life catching my breath letting it go now that I know this is my life I won’t be told what’s suppose to be right.”

With that I have just some things, this song speaks to me about that moment when you have looked in a mirror into your past and you realize it’s not them (well it is them) ultimately it’s you I was addicted to that kind of love that hurtful, unfulfilled, selfish, just unhealthy love and found in these women that I so thought I loved. The woman with trust issues, open issues, sex issues, and just Love issues. NO MORE it is a task in itself to be with someone and make it work but it is even harder when you are fighting a losing battle and swimming against an ocean of insecurity. Like the amazing president reelected Obama said Moving Forward and that’s and all you can do is move forward and move on know that life is too short and relationships end people move on life happens in so many different ways and in the long run if it is meant to work out it will. And to say the least moving on and moving forward becomes like walking when you see that life has so much more to it then the Emotion-sucking Siren in your life or the Dramatic Victim. You see you and the things that are so amazing about the life you have and the fantastic people in it. I am so OVERLY THANKFUL for the people in my life the ones that have not left that is new, seasoned to my life, I laugh with feel comfortable with talk about the apples to zebras without filtering.  Cause I care (clear throat)…

So in Closing I have another about a Nickelback song that I will write and talk about next yes I found my Nov Part 2 post title so I will give you a sneak peak http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tQdgM8yo38

Live, Love , Dance

-I See You…-

*Life is the Sum of Choices you Make*

 Ty 2012

Disaster (2012-10-03)

CONCLUSION 2 - Give You Me (03-10-2012)

So I fumbled on this song from a younger artist who I haven’t heard from in a while JoJo it is a great video and the lyrics are quite beautiful. I didn’t write in September cause well last year I had a lot to say and a lot had happen that month that I wanted to be spill out and scream out. Well this year wasn’t bad at all by any standard but I felt the need not to write last month.

          Well in this moment I have my mind filled with thoughts so I got behind the music gears and this song popped up. So some lyrics to type about;

“I'm trying not to pretend that it won't happen again and again like that. Never thought it would end, but you got up in my head and my head like that. You made me happy baby, but love is crazy, so amazing. But it's changing, rearranging don't think I can take anymore.

[Chorus] Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down and it turned into whatever now we're saying never. Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning for forever and always. We gotta let it go, be on our way Look for another day, cuz it ain't the same my baby. Watch it all fall to the ground No happy ever after, just DISASTER”

So it is a break up song and a sad song shocking but true. I don’t care I love, loving and I love what love stands for and, what the fairy tales and romantic comedies, and beautiful songs all have in common LOVE. I think the song is so nice the strength in those lyrics and the meaning driving them home. I’m in love with the lyrics loving is hard loving someone is harder. You have to come to terms with these simple truths that all love isn’t forever and all things end. Those aren’t bad concepts; just know in some of those things that end is a DISASTER.

It is hard to think that things can change but it is something that is inevitable. You have to know that love is hard and it doesn’t always work out. But in these moments you get some great opportunities to personally move you in a better direction. And in others it is as the titled says a Disaster, you have to realize that it is extremely hard to cope or deal when disaster strikes but with the right friends and mindset the disaster is just a storm not a Hurricane.  Catch this Breakdown;

“You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me, not feeling my heart beat, and now it's dying. I am through it, I-I am through all the agony, Now my eyes are drying, drying, No more crying, Lying's just a game. So disaster strikes, And I'm alright' cause my love's on its way.”

I love this; after all that she did in making them work this happen and she realized it’s not worth the tears or heartache so she moves on. The heart can only take so much pain before it gives in and let’s go, you can’t come back from some things. People have to realize the consequences of the choices they make, often it’s hard to think of someone else in the selfish world we live in today but it’s not so difficult to put someone first until disaster hits.

I think it is just hard to think another relationship done and over and all you have is the scars from it and all you can do is pick up the pieces and move forward. I love by the end breakdown she is fine and she sings “Disaster strikes and I’m alright cause my love is on the way” I love that line it is so true cause once the blow to your heart is evident  you see the forest from the trees. You start to see that this may have been the best thing to happen to you. When the Disaster is over when does past? Its crazy simple but stupid hard just Give Me You (Ohh Full Circle) the real you the person I see forever with and if that’s too much to ask then this Disaster can’t be fixed.  

Ok for my last thoughts both songs and posts mean so much to me I love the songs so much and the lyrics mean everything to me. I guess you wait for someone to be who you saw when you realized the game changed and when disaster hits its like all I wanted was You no gimmick Give Me You and that was too hard. The best part about a Disaster is the rebuild afterwards you can make changes reinforce the right wing (Batman reference) know what not to do the next time or look disaster in the eye and say listen let’s try this from the top without all the shit that just happen and learn to love again…

Forgiveness is so much more then saying sorry!! And to Love someone that may not be good for you is a hard pill to swallow, But Life is the Sum of Choices you Make and if I See You.. for all that you are and for what you bring to my life then just Give Me You so we can avert the next Disaster together!!!

Ty 2012  

Give Me You (2012-10-03)

Give Me You

I thought to write of this the day this album came out and I played it out like 200 times in 2 days for 2 reasons, what the song sounded in my head emotionally & what the song made me think about my career and recent Decisions.I said to myself “self if you like this song and things do or don’t change blog it” I said other self your right. So here we are things have changed and I still love this song so we will kick this one off with some lyric reference;

“Sexy words don‘t mean that much to Me Cause I heard just about Everything. That a man could ever Say To me to make me Stay. Before now I need More…

Chorus: So don’t bring me Roses, Bring me the Truth Don’t buy me Diamonds, Cause that just won’t Do Material things I can buy myself if I really want To I need something Special, I need something New Just Give Me You.”

I am going to address the obvious in my head the relationship portion I think its not to much to ask to just want the person, I mean I know me and I am a lot to handle (at times) but is that too much to ask for in someone I don’t want a lot I just want you… I will hit one more lyrics section then all my thoughts will pour onto the page about the song.

Things of this World don’t mean that much to Me I need your Heart and I need Honesty If all you’ve got is Flashiness then Please Turn around and Leave.”

         So I completely get this song on so many levels and relate in so many ways. I think for me I know how I am and I know who I am in relationships I am the lover the friend the quality time gift giving physical contact person. I love when it’s a connection it works but, don’t think I need things or broken promises, unfulfilled desires, inability to commit, or fear of the concept of us. I just need you someone who loves me and lets me love them, excited to call me your man and content that I am enough.

       I think people get so caught up in the façade and the masks they wear in relationships to keep someone when you can be who you are and go from there. Give Me You is such an easy yet difficult concept I don’t want the show or the front or all the flashiness as Tamia put it. I Love the “don’t bring me Roses just bring me the truth”. Personally I am so there don’t blow smoke up my ass or say what you think I wanna hear to make me stay look at me and say what you need to say. The thought of loneliness is a fear of mine everyone knows that I am a hopeless romantic that doesn’t mean my standards are too high that just means step your love game up. You know why I love the past besides the music and clothes and dialogue, it was the way Love was portrayed in each era. The Romans, and Greeks and Egyptians they love was seriously eternal they got buried together LOL. But then you look at westrern culture I love the courtship the give and take the 2 equally showing up to the event we call life. Makes me so happy the 1800’s, 30,40, 60, 70’s all amazing times to just Love.

    I guess I wanted to just write about this song and how amazing it is and what it meant to me. It may be hard or seem impossible to do but giving yourself to someone is the most selfless thing you can do. And when your with someone or at a crossroads with someone that concept can make you love that person more for sampling Giving you them. Or force you to see that maybe forever isn’t with this person and that may be ok. You see the change in yourself as if just Give Me You is all you wanted and you could get that and it will either work itself out or become a Disaster which oddly enough is my Post cause I am writing these right behind each other and well listening to both songs on a 2 song playlist on repeat. So with that my first

TO BE CONTINUED…

I Need This (2012-08-24)

I need this, what the Hell do I need? Well first I need this song on repeat by Jessie J it is an amazing song I love every little thing about this song and the lyrics. This is part 2 of my 2 part thought process, the first was angry this is not so much it is a great and I love the meaning behind it.

“Stop! Where am I? Shock! I can’t cry, Pop! I need some space, No! This isn’t me Go! Please let me breath I’ll be back sooner then you know.”

“I Need This Space just like you need air; I need this time, time to clear out my mind. Wait did you hear that, hear my heartbeat I really need this”

“No its not personal sorry if I’m hurting you please don’t give up on me now. I needed this time alone to know I could come back home to breath.”

I love the song in its entirety it is amazing and it so resonates in me in so many different ways. Well first I think one of the main issues in personal relationships both friendly and romantic neither party really walks in the others shoes nor do they completely grasp the person they love is acting a certain way or being out of what they are used to. I have this quote and it talks about loving to see his tailor because he is the only person that doesn’t try to fit him in a previous version of himself and refits him every time they see each other. That quote makes me smile because in recent months I have fell to those judgments; time has passed I haven’t seen people in a while and it feels like the time that passed has really passed. And others that it’s been 2 years or the few its been more then 5 or just random moments it feels like time stopped and we pick up where the last joke was told or the last memory we had together and fill in the gaps.  But I guess growing up means growing apart or growing closer whether it be friend or lover I love this song and the title because I needed the time I took away from Vegas, just like I needed the time away from Dancing this Summer just like I need this new path I am on. I feel like in the song she realizes for this relationship to work she needs time and space to figure through the highs and lows in what she is embarking on. You have to be open to know that people change, grow, evolve not all at the same pace and not all in the same way but that is where the old saying I use “Life is Sum of Choice you Make” comes into play. It’s up to you to choose if you wanna stick it out and be there while someone that’s hurt you or you haven’t seen a lot of or just someone that you have grown apart from deals with the same things you are but in their way. With the hurt do you need this time to figure out is it worth it or is my resentment going to be here forever.  With the one you haven’t seen a lot of do you take the road of let’s do lunch and catch up on our life’s since we last were around each other. And with the Distance and growing apart to you try to mend that bridge with active trying daily to find the source of the Chasm or do you let it go and chalk it up to Life moving rapidly forward?

The Second is the awakening when you realize WOW life is happening, in the beginning of the song she is so ready to get that time to figure her out and find what she thinks she is missing and along the way hoping he sticks around to see the woman she’s becoming. I know that both are hard roles to be in but what do you do when on her hand you feel as if no matter what happens he may leave because I put this man through hell for a while and now he’s done. I wanna be better version of me not just for me or him but us and everything I do isn’t good enough? Or on his end given so much of him to this cause this love that is so Amazing in his eyes because he sees forever in her eyes and then to be put in this place where she needs space now and she is pushing you away so you think, so you close off and get angry. Like I said I have been in both positions and it sucks for both but who knows if either will work or will be what both you and the other person need to be that Happily Ever After?

I guess the goal for me is Happiness and in that comes with friends that build you up not just suck the life out of you and out of a room. Real friends that you know if you invited your entire friend base over there would be no drama because all of them would be an extension of you therefore they would all pretty much feel as if they know each other. A woman who loves me flaws and all and we have been through life together I have seen her fall and crawl and fight and climb and grow, believe, change, evolve, love more than she ever has and build something more than just bad memories together, a woman who I see forever in her eyes and I daily fall back in love with her because of her smile. A family that gets me and is supportive but that has always been the case I have been blessed and, in that the ones that is more than just best friends or friends the family outside my family that Ride to Hell with me and pull me back when I get to comfortable there. I am seeing those aspects more and more as I get older and life happens to me and it makes me so happy and freaks me out LOL.

I will finish with I NEED THIS moment in my life and I love this moment in my life. I wanna thank EVERYONE I mean the Lighthouse in my life who has dealt with the best and worst versions of me and still wanna see it through till the end, the friends that have come and stayed and I couldn’t forget if I wanted to cause they are lifers, the family that is Irreplaceable for all the best reasons. Then to the ones that ran away the ones that left a bad taste in my mouth, the users, and abuser, the Misery Loves Company Members thank you the most without all of them and some of you reading this I would not have been able to see and now have this Amazing Army in my corner not just my One & Only but A Force of Nature an AMAZING  Group of people that I can call at a moment’s notice to defend the ground in which cannot be shaken by Negativity or Jealousy or Spite.

Look to the Skies because my Light doesn’t stay Dim Long, gravity and me were never friends!!!

Live, Love, Laugh, Dance,

-I See You…-

*Life is the Sum of Choices you Make*

Ty 2012

Wide Awake (2012 -08-22)

I thought about 2 different blogs so that’s what I will do this month because of recent events I think it is cause for 2 different ones. This one is the not so nice one, so if by the end you feel like I was talking about you or that it was a personal attack STOP TALKING TO ME, LET ME GO, LEAVE ME ALONE AND KEEP YOUR MISERY TO YOURSELF. The old saying is so true Misery Loves Company for so many damn reasons “side note this has nothing to do with my personal relationship but mostly the so called friends I have made & well enemies”. In recent weeks, months, years I have started to see the dark caves in human race and glanced at them in different lights and it has been to say the least scary, enlightening, and fulfilling. Everyone has a twinge of Jealousy in them as well as a hint of Revenge or a lot of both depending on the individual and how they deal with their personal demons. And in that respect blossomed this concept behind the post your reading, we all love this song from Katy Perry and the lyrics are amazing no need to get into them if you don’t know the song or the lyrics look them up you will love them.

            I have learned to take people with a grain of salt and to that extent either they grow or they hang themselves weather its 5 weeks, months, or years in the end no one can keep their true colors hidden for too long. Like most secrets they come to the light at some point and at that same point people can only hind their true face for so long before Medusa comes out. I’m an open book and I have said that for quite a long time and nothing has changed if you wanna know something just ask and if you’re too chicken shit to ask read my blogs they have all of me to read. Here is the thing I don’t name names or give specific situations cause I care about other people’s privacy mine on the other hand is non-existent. If we are no longer friends or as a co-worker you just made me sick, the relationship ended or “I” have moved on you should too it’s not that hard stop following my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, stop requesting my friends to get at me somehow LET IT GO you have fallen from cloud 9. I no longer care who you are what you do and how you are, you life becomes a distant memory so I advise the following DO THE SAME. Life is too short to hold grudges or HATE cause your grass is dying mine isn’t greener I just switched to turf or gravel so stop trying to keep up and be messy cause karma as we all know is an Evil Bitch “That’s B I C T H in that order” LOL sorry  had to. I guess more than mad I am just disappointed in Homo-Sapiens in general; don’t cheat on your boyfriend of 3 years and then get mad at me cause things are weird, don’t sleep around on your husband and expect me understand, please don’t think months, years after we break up that I am stunting you and please know that just cause your blood I Give cause family the first ones to screw you or not support you. Co-workers, friends, exes, and family kill me when they start ruining there life I am the escape goat NO Ma’am.

I love learning lessons and I love the growth that comes after the lesson has changed me. You learn by Listening and Living and in that order I don’t know everything and I still fall down quite a bit but like the awesome new Batman movies “why do we fall Mr. Wayne?” Its true so here is my quick rant and then I hope I don’t have to show my Ass cause very rarely do I go Dark and Alley Cat Crazy but when you try to compromise my real friends or intentionally hurt me or my feeling it’s a necessary evil and let the Record show there is someone in this world crazier then you and I probably know them . . “Yeah, I was in the dark I was falling hard with an open heart. I'm wide awake, how did I read the stars so wrong.” That line in the song is my Kryptonite I just assume people have good intentions and when you grow apart or life happens I just think okay LIFE goes on. Not true for some and to those some I welcome your anger, hate, resentment, hurt feeling but I just ask that you address me my email address is danzetim@gmail.com feel free to contact me set up a call or just send hate mail it makes my life that much more enjoyable.  Life is too damn short to be bitter or hold that kind of anger in you LET GO and live people die every damn min stop wasting your time on little old me if you LOVE me then LOVE me, if not MOVE ON. I wish you Ocean breezes and everything you need to be Happy in this Life cause if I catch you in the next run for cover J J J

In closing please for the sake of you living a little longer cause you’re not stroking out at life I have my happiness and change and growth, grow up, move on and LIVE YOUR LIFE you only get 1 don’t waste it on Jealousy, Envy, Resentment, Anger, and Child's Play we grown so get you grown homo-sapiens pants out and LIVE…

-I See You…-

*Life is the Sum of Choices you Make*

Live, Love, Laugh

Ty 2012