Wow I get sad just reading the title such a powerful song by the late "KING OF POP". I downloaded the album heard the song googled the lyrics and made me think (Deep breath) you never know when THIS IS IT...................
But for me i take this title, statement, quote as so many different things.
1.) This is it i can't keep letting my past dictate my present or my future who I am right now in this moment is a direct sum of the choices i have made in my life. Now i know i have a habit of talking about my life but if not talk about my life then whose. I feel so conflicted with dumb stuff but its not dumb stuff if its been on my mind and i feel inclined to talk about it or write about because i cant keep my feeling in too long i will explode. my conflict is be this version of me and ride it out until my next enlightenment moment which by the way is never a good enlightenment ever. So the (Set up) I lie alot i mean alot i feel better putting on paper but it is bad i never think why i just do but until about 6 months ago it never mattered to me. And about 6 moths ago a moment happen :Love ( that was from the movie "the Pursuit of Happiness". Love happen and i know it sounds lame and i don't mean with someone i mean i saw love in my eyes and i knew in the back of my head OMG Tim you gone fuck this up. And so we move on with the Blog I knew 1 of 2 things had to happen i had to start this thing off lie free or i had to slide my way around shit. i chose 1.5 which wasn't an option. Listen carefully i don't me just in someone i mean i felt life changes i saw new things and old things.
2.) This is it I will not doubt Tim L Johnson anymore. I grow bored so quick nothing keeps me at attention , so I need excitement i need compassion i need forgiveness i need support i need LOVE. and if you don't agree then we were friends not anymore. Continuing on I felt like in me i knew i needed to grow up and make some hard decisions some changes not altering who i was or who i am now just Growing in a way that was not used to. Funny thing is in growing don't lose all of who you used to be to be who you wanna be, because who you want to be and who your meant to be may not be the same. I read this quote when i got Friday Oct. 30 2009 it reads "DON'T LET SOMEONE BECOME YOUR EVERYTHING BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE GONE YOU HAVE NOTHING ..
3.)This is it I am going forward with my life no more regrets or second guessing or half living or half stepping i can preach and talk to everyone else but my own self things are changes AGAIN i Love to Hate Change for one reason Everyone Hates change but when its over Loves the outcome.
4.) This is it I am not shutting every out I am Open to suggestions i need my friends and family feedback what are some likes and dislikes what do you think i need to change or improve. Be honest even if you think I have feeling (LOL). I need to know I am not the only person who sees me the world see me daily and no ones stops to say listen friend, co-worker, roomie, girlfriend, guy friend, woman, man.. If you feel like there is something you can teach someone ignorant to it, or guide them in a new way, or improve their way of life say something don't an opportunity to give back. I am a open vessel as of NOW just come up to me, e-mail me, call me, text me i wanna know what you feel and take it all in.....
5.) This is it I have officially hurt myself enough. I stop punishing myself for my sins and my Life I am not perfect as of NOW. I need to find Life out on my terms, I will look up when i walk, i talk and act to the best I know, i will Dictate my life, I will make the best of each day no matter what, I will Live a full life everyday, I will take in the air, I WILL LIVE.
6.) This is it I am Done......... thank you for always reading the babble in my head that I put on the Internet.. Until Next Time
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